BOSTON (WBZ-AM) -- The news that the military has secretly been investigating UFO sightings by its own personnel for years doesn't come as a surprise to those who watch a lot of TV. The indisputable truth that we are not alone came out over 50 years ago, for gosh sakes, with the debut of "My Favorite Martian."
The New York Times reports the previously unacknowledged research program collected interesting video, including footage of a Navy aircraft "surrounded by some kind of glowing aura traveling at high speed and rotating as it moves."
At the very least, this should spark a rash of short-story competitions across the globe.
But I believe I've seen enough cheesy TV shows and movies over the years to be able to reassure you we have nothing to fear from our extraterrestrial visitors. I’m not at liberty to explain how I got the information, but I do have answers to some of the many questions you may have about them.
First, they do have a higher level of civilization and intelligence, just as we’ve always suspected.
They are amused by our primitive smartphone technology, because they communicate telepathically, and can order a pizza just by tugging the left earlobe (for chicken wings, they tap the right thumb twice).
And they are baffled by cable TV talk; it proved impossible to explain “Judge Jeanine” to them.
They are sports fans, and seem to claim Coach Belichick as one of their own.
They like clam chowder, but New England style only, they laughed when shown Manhattan chowder.
But reassuringly, they have no interest in claiming Earth as their own.
Here’s a quote they gave me: “Clean up the mess first, then we’ll talk price.”
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