How To Fix The Big Awards Shows

andy samberg sandra oh golden globes hosts

andy samberg sandra oh golden globes hosts

Golden Globes hosts Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh. (Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal via Getty Images)

BOSTON (WBZ-AM) -- Until I saw it mentioned in the newspaper yesterday, I hadn’t even realized that I once again missed the Golden Globes Awards.

Between football and binge-watching a comedy we like, my wife and I were otherwise occupied.

And the truth is, I’m probably not going to watch a minute of any of the forthcoming awards shows either.

Unless Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell are going to return from the dead and perform their greatest duets, the Grammys have no meaning for me.

And I haven’t had any interest in the Oscars since Joan Rivers stopped doing the red carpet coverage.

The ratings trends suggest I am not alone here, but I want to be constructive about this.

So here are a few ideas for making these snore-fests worth watching again:

· If you’re going to do the red carpet parade, dump the high-fashion and make it more fan-friendly. Instead of ridiculous couture, make the carpet a costume showdown, with a designated theme--like, say, favorite classic cartoon characters--and viewers can vote on which costumes they liked best, with donations to charity on behalf of the winners. I bet Reese Withserspoon would make a great Foghorn Leghorn!

· No more dull, self-indulgent acceptance speeches. Winners must be prepared to perform a dramatic recital or musical number, and again, viewers vote on who did best. You know, just like Community Auditions!

· And finally, two hours for these shows, tops, that’s it. Anything longer is torture.

And if the top performers in the entertainment world can’t edit themselves, maybe they don’t deserve awards in the first place.

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