Useless Tech Gadgets For Success

Latest Consumer Technology Products On Display At Annual CES In Las Vegas

(Getty Images)

Opinion editorial by WBZ NewsRadio political analyst Jon Keller

BOSTON (WBZ NewsRadio) — If it’s early January, it must be time for the annual Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.

It’s an appropriate setting for the annual circus of mostly-useless tech innovations that pay homage to the old saying that there’s a sucker born every minute.

Each year the CES rolls out a bunch of new product ideas, most of which never reach the market, but are a telling indicator of just how far off the rails our tech gadget obsession is going.

For instance, this year’s CES is featuring the Rollbot, a little robot that you can summon with your smartphone to deliver a fresh roll of toilet paper to you if you suddenly discover you’re fresh out and don’t want to get up and get one.

How did we ever survive before this was an option?

Then there’s the folding laptop, a full touchscreen that curves and allows you to lose the keyboard altogether, like a tablet.

If your child loves those little transformer toys, this may one day make the perfect graduation present.

But you know these greed-crazed tech nerds have gone too far when they’re marketing a “smart harness” for your dog that monitors “your dog’s emotional states, using an algorithm” based on the dog’s heart rate.

If your dog is happy, LED lights glow in rainbow colors; if he’s excited, it glows pink, and so on.

This is not necessary.

Buddy the Lab has zero difficulty telling me what she wants: head down means play with me, wagging tail means keep petting, hanging by the bowl and whimpering means feed me.

I think I’ll keep my $37, thank you.

Color me blue and red, for disgusted.

Listen to Jon's commentary:

You can listen to Keller At Large on WBZ News Radio every weekday mornings at :55 minutes past the hour. Listen to his previous podcasts on iHeartRadio.

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